Last year a sci-fi script of mine got into Stowe Story Labs. I met a lot of lovely people during the event, including fellow Taurii and wanderer, Robert Frankel.
Robert and his friend Benjamin Reeves have conceived of an entire fantasy world, Ballads of the Distant Reaches, a biweekly anthology of illustrated fantasy short stories within a shared universe that is being built and grown by rotating writers.
It’s an experiment in collaborative storytelling like D&D and I was lucky enough to be invited to write a story for this ambitious project.
Enter “Wash Away the Plague,” a story about a grieving widow working to clean Pauper’s Notch’s water in times of The Blue Plague. Even in fantasy, I apparently can’t escape bureaucracy.
“Wash Away The Plague”
Belisaria Horne had spent her entire life desperate to erase the stink of where she came from.
Now, a cauldron of dark and odorous water hung from her cramped lab’s stone ceiling above a hungry flame, boiling. A swirl of snaking pipes pumped the boiled water, one drop at a time, onto a fine iron sieve, filtering out anything undesirable: Sediment, filmy grit, the bones of small rodents — and even the shit from the blubbering public toilets three blocks away.
Belisaria wished the sieve could work on her memory.
From the sieve, the remaining liquid filtered through a screen of gereen cloth, a thin textile imported from the Sand Wastes. The dense but breathable fabric once used in ancient rites had recently been in high demand since The Blue Plague first struck.
And using the gereen cloth as the final step in filtration had been Madilyn’s idea.
Belisaria’s throat caught, jaw rigid. Wrinkled, indigo flesh flooded her thoughts — unable to filter the past out any longer. Not knowing how long she held her breath, she coughed, choking back her grief.
The treated water that survived the sieve and the cloth landed in a wooden barrel.
Beside the barrel was a modest table. Yet another flame heated several liquids in opaque glass beakers. Soon, nothing would remain of the liquids but crystallized green-yellow powder.
Skaardruf willing, this hydrated chemical powder would save Amal.
“What do we call it?” Madilyn’s voice from so long ago skittered across Belisaria’s memory.
Belisaria never gave Madilyn a proper answer. Blue stains had already begun to appear in her wife’s gums. The putrefying sweats came not long after. Then the burning skin….
Belisaria shook it all away. She twisted long-vanished hair before she realized she was doing so. The burr cut had been a necessary and reliable survival tactic in times of disease.
She put on worn leather gloves, then removed some of the fine powder from the pile.
Belisaria paused, debating proper ceremony.
“Bouledar,” she said, “thanks for nothing.” The god of healing and community had been asleep at the wheel a long gods-damn time. What healing must be done, she knew, would not be done by gods.
And with that, she sprinkled the chemicals into the water.
The powder and the liquid danced a colorful dance of blue bubbles and auburn fizz.
The liquid settled and cleared. Belisaria dunked a cup into the liquid and filled it to the brim.
Then she took a long, deep drink.
Want to finish the story? Visit distantreaches.com.
The Naked Man Podcast: Katie Hess on the Healing Power of Flowers
“Am I growing? Am I evolving, reaching my full potential? Am I aware of my full capacity? Do I have hidden talents that I don’t even know I’m good at? Are there things that are there to be uncovered, are there treasures that are waiting to be discovered inside of me that I haven’t found yet?"
This week, I have a flower essence consultation with Katie Hess, the founder of LOTUSWEI's flower elixirs, who simply wants us all to see the magic again. This is the first episode where someone found me, reached out to me with a product and we address my skepticism inherent in that situation, particularly something that can be seen as so "woo."
We discuss the magic and wonder of the natural world and how it has stopped becoming an essential part of our day to day life. Katie helps me harken back to my childhood when it was easy to know and remember this magic.
I reveal some of the dirt of the past couple months and what I’ve been working through, highlighting the times when anxiety is the hardest to withstand. I wonder if pharmaceuticals are right for me, I feel clunky and combative when setting boundaries, and I still struggle to say no. Katie’s advice: “If you’re not fuck yeah, don’t do it.”
We explore the arrogance and comedy in wanting to "save the world." We wonder after the very nature of self-care (particularly in men) and reframe it as: how do we best grow? We reframe "how can I help people?" to "how can I help myself?"
And finally, Katie asks me the ultimate question: “If you’re a total, absolute failure, what does that mean about you?” Listen for my answer.
Accepting Tips for Coffee.
David’s Book of the Month!
I've been a bit of a mess and haven't been writing reviews for my listens/reads since sometime in May or June. At some point I'll likely go back and do so.
My physical reading has dipped noticeably though I've remained productive with audiobooks. I went through the entirety of Tolkien's legendarium in anticipation of The Rings of Power, including the superbly edited posthumous tales that Christopher Tolkien so painstakingly reconstructed and presented over several decades of work. I also dipped my toe into a few biographies and literary analysis works, though the field of Tolkien scholarship is much larger and more impressive than one might think.
Some other favorite books of the past few months, in no particular order:
The Garden of Evening Mists by Tan Twan Eng
Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owns
The Empress of Salt and Fortune and When Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo
In the First Circle by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, translated by Harry T. Willets
The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune
Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh (elevated by narration by the great Jeremy Irons)
The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel
And finally, the book that compelled me to write this post:
The Murmur of Bees, written by Sofia Segovia and translated by Simon Bruni, with superb narration by Xe Sands and Angelo Di Lorento. This remarkable Mexican novel is fantastical, unexpected, emotional, sweet, and so beautifully crafted with true artistry. It's right up there with the previously reviewed The Map of Salt and Stars for my favorite book of 2022 thus far.
Rom Com Round-Up
In-between horror films, Lili and I have been queuing up some classic romantic comedies, often to find them much more horrifying than anything on Shudder.
My main note: all romantic comedies are confusing and problematic and incredible. It’s no wonder we’re all bags of trauma.
27 Dresses: The titular dress montage is bliss but the central romance involves a reporter who lies about his identity, reads Katherine Heigl’s diary without her consent and makes it a story at her expense. Heigl forgives him not because he’s particularly apologetic but because it is James Marsden. And to be fair, she’s not wrong. Bonus yuck points for the boss/assistant dynamic between Heigl and the voice of B&H, Edward Burns. One of my bullet point notes for this film was: “This is really good.”
Notting Hill: This film shows how dangerously celebrity obsessed we are as a culture and I wish we had caught that shit back in ‘99. Julia Roberts has no personality beyond being rich and famous, and indeed, she’s also a jerk to Hugh Grant to boot. Another huge red flag is that she has a raging asshole of a boyfriend in Alec Baldwin for SO long, displaying her truest gift is self-loathing. She is not a healthy person to enter a relationship with (cue: suits yelling around the table, “Who wants to watch a movie about healthy people?!”). “Normal guy” Hugh Grant can do much better than Julia Roberts even though everyone tells him otherwise. As a Love Actually recoveree, I’m convinced that
Otto HightowerRhys Ifan’s ew-y horn dog character is a stand-in for director Richard Curtis.Two Weeks Notice: Another toxic boss-employee movie literally features Sandra Bullock needing to take a shit in the middle of a traffic jam while Cars’ “Taking Care of Business” plays. That blissful high art helps smooth over the fact that Bullock’s character is a super qualified and high-powered environmental attorney that then… becomes Hugh Grant’s personal assistant? Her character’s value is tied to making a rich white man change. Accurately, once he does grow up, he loses his job and power. Beware: Pumpkin Turd President shows up to hammer home the kind of character that Hugh Grant plays when we start.
Miss Congeniality is 111 minutes of sexism, misogyny, homophobia, and fat shaming. Sandy Bullock ends up romantically entangled, of course, with the man responsible for a lot of the aforementioned toxicity, because it’s Benjamin Bratt. At least this film has Heather Burns. [Not to mention William Shatner, Candace Bergen and Michael Caine!]
The Lake House: “I’m an architect. I like to build,” Keanu Reeves says, and I believe him. I also believe in this film’s central romance more than almost all of these other films, and it features a time traveling mailbox. Indeed, perhaps because they’re more believable precisely because they never have to endure being in the same room/year with one another. This gem wins the Award for Best Gummi Movie of the bunch.
Love & Basketball: “Double or nothing.” This wins the Rom-Com Crown because its characters face and own their shit. Bonus points for being one of the most believable basketball movies in the process.
Scribblings from the…
by H.A.C.K.
Today’s topic is Dystopian Juvenile Fiction.
To be truly Dystopian we need to stamp out hope in humanity before they get a taste of it. The answer, start with the kids…. I mean, you still have to have kids otherwise the oppressors have to take their ball and go home since no one is left to play. Anyway, here are a few pitch-worthy treatments that touch on each of the three types of Dystopia namely: Bureaucratic, Corporate, and Philosophical/Religious.
“Friction”
In the not-too-distant future, humanity has delegated all manner of rights, freedoms, and authority to the SYSTEM. The SYSTEM provides all, Guides all, and is the end all. As designated by form 295467/ahb.12 today is Cog Wheeler’s 12th birthday. After a semi-tepid rendition of Happy Birthday blasts through the Wheeler domicile at 0700, Cog must report for institutional on-boarding and training at the Academy. There he will be trained, tested, and classified for entry into adult life as part of the SYSTEM. Cog, however, has doubts. He isn’t sure he’ll fit in… He isn’t sure he wants too…
“Mail Room”
Elon Wharton had a relatively comfortable childhood being the promising son in a family of successful corporate climbers. His father worked as the VP of finance for the local population division, while his mother served as the local executive in charge of HR. He was ambitious, intelligent and able to comfortably endure the periods of scheduled family interaction. As was expected of all teens entering executive training, he dreamed of superseding the apparent stagnant positions of his parents. Division president at least or even perhaps promotion to the Life Board itself. Then on the day of his on-boarding, scandal was uncovered, and the worst thing that could happen happened: his parents were fired and relegated to unemployment. His journey through life would now start in the MAIL ROOM…
“Knights of Hope”
Cris Cross was ecstatic! He had been accepted into the Junior Crusaders! He’d dreamed of this moment ever since his big brother Richard had left home to do the same. Cris was eager to serve the cause and dreamed of spreading the word, even by means of a bloody sword if necessary. So, he set out along with a group of six other teens on the two-day journey to the Citadel where they will be taken in and trained as squires… Only they never made it. Cris and his companions were waylaid at camp the first night by a band of non-believers who proclaim that following the Cause is not the only way to live. The next day the group is rescued, and all but one of the rogues are slaughtered by Crusaders alerted to the attack. Upon arriving at the Citadel, Cris finds a mysterious object in his pack. A book. A book about Knights!
From the department of— do you have anything else? — here is a throw-in:
“Umbilicus”
Freed Novax had prepared all his short life for today. Today, he embarks on the Journey of exploration that might save humanity. Not that Freed cared, he was just the latest generation of the Novax family to be sacrificed for the sake of content. In Freed’s world, life was confined to consumption of resources and imagination. With imagination on the decline, reality was having a major comeback. Especially the reality of the “Outside” where Freed will be sent to observe and report for as long as he lives…