Wanderers #14
The Mariners make the playoffs, Goya's dreams return, a Carrie podcast and a bunch of oddball friends' art!
21 Years.
The last time the Seattle Mariners were in the playoffs, 13-year-old Andy was in the prime of his athletic career, still on track for the dream: toil in the low minors for a decade hoping that Susan Sarandon would discover him on some forgotten ball-field.
The last time the Seattle Mariners were in the playoffs, 13-year-old Andy was in the prime of his athletic career, still on track for the dream: once his grandfather died and revealed that he somehow owned the Minnesota Twins, he’d inherit the team, become general manager and the head coach and inspire a bunch of jaded adults to the playoffs. (Where we’d lose to the Mariners, ‘natch)
The last time the Seattle Mariners were in the playoffs, 13-year-old Andy was in the prime of his athletic career, still on track for the dream: he just needed to fall and break his arm in such a way that he could throw 95 MPH past jaded adult men, followed by a starring role in the American Pie franchise.
The Seattle Mariners are back in the playoffs and 34-year-old Andy is living the dream: grasping at youth (and his hamstrings) every Thursday on the softball diamond with a bunch of boyz he met on Craigslist. [Ed. Note: We just lost a game by nearly 15 runs and I skipped the postgame commiseration to struggle to write this.]
While it sometimes feels like they’re from different universes, 13-year-old and 34-year-old Andy aren’t that different.
They’re both overflowing with dreams. And if the 1995 Seattle Mariners were the team that taught me how to dream, this 2022 edition is one that reminds me of the power and necessity of joy. I’ve never seen a team play with as much of it as this one. In my experience with sports, with anything I love that I take seriously, with a world (and a brain) that sometimes feels allergic to joyful expression (especially from grown men), that joy can be the first ingredient to go away. Right now, joy—the appreciation and celebration of it—is the most important lesson for 34-year-old me to learn.
Go Mariners.
Super Wrong Playoff Predictions!
Wild Card Round
Tampa Bay Rays vs. Cleveland Guardians: The two weakest teams in the playoffs, which means one of them will likely make a long run, and it’ll be the almost boringly efficient Rays, like always.
Seattle Mariners (!) vs. Toronto Blue Jays: My boyz have the better rotation and bullpen depth… which is less helpful in a short series when the Jays have Alek Manoah and Kevin Gausman. But what am I gonna do, pick against the Mariners in my own fucking newsletter? So, Mariners in three in thrilling walk-off fashion— a J.P. Crawford dribbler the opposite way will send Taylor Trammell home and give longtime Mariners announcer Rick Rizzs the dream opportunity: dying of a coronary during the blessed call. As my dad will tell you every time he sees you, I got his autograph at spring training. I was 19 years old (hey, that’s Jay Buhner’s number!).
Philadelphia Phillies vs. St. Louis Cardinals: The Phillies are scary but top heavy, which again, could play to their advantage in a short series, but I’ve been on the Gateway Arch and had a Philly cheesesteak, and the former experience far surpassed the latter. Cards win.
San Diego Padres vs. New York Mets: We’re probably all sleeping on the Padres since Fernando Tatis Jr. got suspended and that seemed to close the book on their title hopes, but here they are. It feels like a classic storyline that Joe Buck would LOVE to talk about over and over if he got the chance, so the Mets have to win to shut Joe Buck up.
Division Series
Tampa Bay Rays vs. New York Yankees: Aaron Judge is really, really good, but it’s going to be hilarious when the Yankees lose, vanquished by J.T. Chargois. Rays in 7.
Seattle Mariners vs. Houston Astros: The Astros are the Freddy Krueger of the playoffs, because whenever I try to dream big, the Astros slash my throat.
Atlanta Braves vs. St. Louis Cardinals: While I’m worried about my hero Spencer Strider’s oblique (I’m worried about everyone’s obliques, tbh), I feel like the Braves are better than last year when they won the World Series. Sorry, Missouri Waltz. The Braves need to change their name before I can truly accept them into my heart.
Los Angeles Dodgers vs. New York Mets: This might be the best series of the playoffs. The Dodgers won 111 games and are the better/best team in baseball, but they have a whiff of being that dominant fantasy team that slays every week leading into the playoffs and then the randomness of head-to-head luck dooms them immediately and then they complain to their friends for the next year about how they got “screwed” yet will still play in H2H leagues for the rest of their lives.
Everyone makes a big deal about Craig Kimbrel, and it’s going to be all anyone talks about… but if Blake Treinen is healthy, they have at least 5 relievers better than him and you won’t believe who they are: Treinen, Evan Phillips, Alex Vesia, Chris Martin and Tommy Kahnle. Meanwhile, the Mets bullpen is meh after Edwin Diaz. So, Dodgers?
Championship Series
Houston Astros vs. Tampa Bay Rays: I hate that even my wrong predictions that mean nothing end up with the most boring, hateful outcomes. But the world is pain and the Astros will prevail. See how quickly that joy thing dissipated?
Atlanta Braves vs. Los Angeles Dodgers: Oh, maybe this will be the best series. I’ll pick the Dodgers to inspire a collective groan…
World Series: Houston Astros vs. Los Angeles Dodgers. It’s not as if the Dodgers are “heroes” given their gargantuan big money status, but they will be in this scenario. David Price for MVP. Dodgers win to commemorate Jaime Jarrín’s last season as the Spanish language announcer.
The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters… Again
I was working in the lab, late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise…
My friend Shirley Huang (an artist featured in Wanderings #2) asked to collaborate with me on a horror art piece for Hive Gallery’s Monster Mash show!
We bounced ideas back and forth, with me mostly harping on the terror that is the Pasadena parrots (I’m ready to make The Birds greene).
Then Shirley brought up Francisco Goya’s “El sueño de la razon produce monstruos” (The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters) and we got excited about giving it a 2022 flavor. There’s obviously a lot of monsters out there to choose from…
And the above ink painting is what Shirley crafted from our shared imagination. We did the mash and it was a graveyard smash!
The piece debuted this past Saturday and will be on display amongst a myriad of other horrific pieces through October 29th.
Revisiting Brian De Palma’s Carrie
Last year when I was scrambling to make friends and lock in guests for Movies with Friends, Lili recommended I reach out to her old friend, actor-carpenter David Marlowe, who happened to cohost Shudder Show, a podcast with cinematographer and cinephile Ken Stachnik that covers all the gruesome goodies on my favorite horror app: Shudder. [Ed. Note: My free streaming app rec for October is RAYGUN.]
Long story long, David visited Castle Blondula for an episode of Movies with Friends where we spotlighted Lucio Fulci’s ridiculous(ly great) House by the Cemetery over a toothsome glass of Italian red.
This year it was my turn to visit David and Ken in the haunted halls of Zoom to talk about the first of 3.2 million Stephen King adaptations, the one that arguably made King who he is today, Brian De Palma’s Carrie.
We discuss dirty pillows, the film’s hazy, after school special feel, the insane supporting cast, how budget restraints altered the film significantly (for the better?) and the wizardry at work during some of the most iconic scenes in horror ever.
We don’t talk about how De Palma just lifts Bernard Herrmann’s Psycho score or Piper Laurie’s happy ending, but that’s for next time.
Wanderings is accepting tips.
Art by Friendz!
One of my sound engineers and new friends, Adam Hassick, has released his first single under the moniker, Peace Reyes. This name is actually his birth name, as he was adopted. I’ve been listening to the song on repeat for this entire section of this fine periodical.
Kasey Speth, the artist behind the Be Greene Productions logo (click this to see previous iterations), has some new goodies at her shop. Her rad catstronaut print (above) is for sale for just $25.
KIDS CONTENT PEEPS! Friend and The Last Dodo co-writer Nick Lopez has lent his writing claw to Netflix’s Oddballs, out TODAY, October 7. It’s the perfect thing to watch to ease your anxiety about the Seattle Mariners playoff series.
Alyssa Onofreo (AKA OmgChomp, The Love Witch and star of this exorcism) is selling her Scream VHS art on her ko-fi shop. At time of publication there are only two left, but she’s also open for commissions.